Answer by Xu Beixi:
A list of bungles, homonyms, and misused terms from an old notebook:
- aberrant (deviation) vs abhorrent (disgusting)
- adjure (command) vs abjure (formally renounce)
- adverse (bad) vs averse (strongly opposed)
- aggravate (make worse) vs agitate (disturb)
- akimbo means ‘bow-like’
- all together (everyone) vs altogether (entirely)
- allude (hint to) vs elude (evade)
- altercation means ‘heated argument, but doesn’t come to blows’
- alumna (female alumni) vs alumnus (male alumni)
- anal (relating to the anus)- it’s technically not “anal”, but “anal-retentiveness”, like I am.
- angst (anxiety, often with sadness) vs anger
- annihilate (destroy all) vs decimate (destroy some- deci means 1/10)
- another think coming, as opposed to another thing coming. I’m not sure about this one myself- anyone? ()
- aprops- by the way (on a matter not appropriate)
- assault (doesn’t have to be physical) vs battery (unlawful physical contact)
- author (published writer) vs writer (both published and unpublished)- wonder how this relates to Quora and the internet, since everyone’s published.
- avenge (more noble) vs revenge (less noble)
- average vs mean (middle of high and low) vs median (the “middle number” in a sorted list of numbers)
- awhile (short period) vs a while (any length of time)
- beg the question- means “assuming the conclusion (of an argument)”, a type of circular reasoning. It doesn’t mean ‘leading to the question’.
- bemuse means to bewilder. Not amuse. (I’m looking at you, Bigfoot!)
- bereft means to have something taken from one without consent
- billiards vs pool- the billiards table has no pockets
- blatant (offensive, overt) vs flagrant (also overt, but emphasis on the heinousness of the act)
- blithe (happy) vs blither (babble)
- bow (front) stern (back) port (left) starboard (right)
- casualty means ‘injury, but not death’ (I’ve seen this misused in newspapers!)
- census vs consensus (generally accepted opinion)
- circa means approximate date, not ‘has been around since’
- classic vs classical (a specific time period, European, 18-19th century or modern stuff that reflects that style)
- compliment vs complement (highlight, bring out)
- compunction means ‘guilty conscience’
- concave (curve inward) vs convex (outward)
- contagious (process/ degree of ease of spreading; capable of being transmitted by bodily contact with an infected person or object) vs infectious (agent likely to be transmitted to people, organisms, etc., through the environment.)
- cracker vs hacker (They are subject to the long standingabout the true meaning of the term . In this controversy, the term hacker is reclaimed by who argue that someone breaking into computers is better called a cracker, not making a difference between computer criminals ( ) and computer security experts ( ). ) Also, cracker is a racist term for white people, and a delicious sort of wafer.
- CV vs resume (CV is more comprehensive and used for academic/ research positions more often)
- defamation (both written and spoken) vs libel (written, with more legal consequence *dun dun dun!*)
- dilemma (2) vs quandry (>2 options)
- discomfit (verb, action) vs discomfort (noun, state; but can also be used in verb form)
- effete means ‘(of a person) affected, overrefined, and ineffectual’, not effeminate
- elicit (to coax/ obtain) vs illicit (forbidden by law, rules, or custom)
- epitome is both ‘a person or thing that is a perfect example of a particular quality or type’ and ‘a summary of a written work; an abstract’
- erstwhile means former/ formerly, not missing/ lost
- factoid is a questionable or spurious (unverified, false, or fabricated) statement presented as a fact, but without supporting evidence. It isn’t a mini-fact.
- forebear (ancestors) vs forbear (politely or patiently restrain an impulse to do something; refrain) vs for bear, which is just plain cute.
- forego (precede, as in time or place) vs forgo (choose to give it up), but now they’re used interchangeably.
- grammar, not grammer
- hanged (past tense or past participle of hang) vs hung (past and past participle), though some men are also hung.
- hark means return to a previous point, as in a narrative, or to listen; pay attention. Not ‘hello’.
- homely means ugly/ unattractive/ nothing to write home about, and also ‘cozy and comfortable, as in one’s own home’. WTF, English language? It can’t both be bad and good!
- immolate: can involve fire or no fire, just self-sacrifice (kill or offer as a sacrifice, esp. by burning)
- impeach means to accuse, or discredit, or to charge (a public official) with improper conduct in office before a proper tribunal.
- incredible doesn’t mean ‘awesome’, but difficult to believe; extraordinary. Or not credible; hard to believe; unbelievable.
- internet is a global system of interconnectedthat use the standard (TCP/IP) to serve several billion users worldwide. It is a network of networks. It isn’t the WWW. The WWW falls under it.
- irresistible, not irresistable
- light years isn’t a measure of time but distance, equal to just under 9.5 trillion kilometres.
- livid doesn’t always mean angry/ furious, but also having a discolored, bluish appearance caused by a bruise, congestion of blood vessels, strangulation, etc., as the face, flesh, hands, or nails.
- loose (opposite of tight) vs lose (opposite of find)
- mano a mano means ‘hand to hand’, not ‘man to man’. Women can fight, too.
- melee generally refers to disorganized close combat involving a group of fighters, but can also mean turmoil and confusion.
- mendicity is the condition or activities of a beggar. Not mendacity, which is lying/ untruthfulness.
- moot: subject to debate, dispute, or uncertainty, and typically not admitting of a final decision.tells us it’s both debatable or of little significance. Think ‘Jessie’s Girl’- I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot. This is pretty confusing since it goes both ways- is it important or not?
- mother lode. Not mother load.
- nonplussed doesn’t mean ‘unmoved and stoic’. The formal definition goes “(of a person) surprised and confused so much that they are unsure how to react.” Or to render utterly perplexed; puzzle completely.
- pernicious means ‘having a harmful effect, esp. in a gradual or subtle way’, easily confused with perspicacious, meaning ‘having a ready insight into and understanding of things.’
- pithy means ‘concise and forcefully expressive’. Not impactful, or just succinct.
- popular is positive in all its definitions- ‘liked or enjoyed by many people’- ‘popular cause of death’ makes no sense, unless people enjoy dying that way. Popular doesn’t mean common.
- prodigal means ‘giving or yielding profusely; lavish’, not necessarily bad e.g. prodigal of smiles, prodigal of upvotes. It also doesn’t mean ‘prodigy’ (usu. young, gifted person/ electronic music group formed by Liam Howlett).
- prurient means lustful, not childish or silly/ immature.
- raise (animals and crops) vs rear (kids)
- regime (e.g. evil regime of Dr. Doom) vs regimen (e.g. skincare) vs regiment (of a military unit)
- sherbet (has milk) vs sorbet (no milk)
- shoe in, not shoo in, as it originated from the old door-to-door salesmen tactics who knew if they stuck their foot through the door, it increased sales. Weasels.
- taciturn- reserved or uncommunicative in speech, not mean or bad. But rather, stern and dour.
- virtual- the quality of having the attributes of something without sharing its (real or imagined) physical form. It doesn’t mean ‘not real’.
- wherefore art thou- ‘for what reason’. It doesn’t mean where are you, Romeo. It means why the heck art thou Romeo.
Special thanks to Google, Wikipedia, and the Library for all the above.
Answer by Indrani Mahto:
I know that you people won’t get significant results when you would look up for this name on Google…but mark my words, in the coming 10 years…YOU WILL…
For all the curious cats out there…let me introduce you to this fabulous person who loves life more than any of us ‘normal’ people…Suffering from polio since she was 1 year old and walking with the help of just one of her legs with crutches but still refusing to give up on the faith that she ll walk someday…just like all of us…:)This is Neha’s pic with me…:D
In India, where kids born with physical anomalies or aquiring them later in life is so badly attached with stigma…that people used to tell her parents to marry her off very early in life even before she could complete secondary level of education…From neighbors to relatives, no one was supportive of her education.
Things got worse for her when she cracked one of the most coveted examinations of this country, AIEEE (All India Engineering Entrance Examination) in 2010 and got into Production and Industrial Engineering at National Institute of Technology, Jamshedpur
This meant that she had to come thousands of kilometres away from home to study for the next 4 years and the idea stirred a lot of displeasure in her relatives and some of them even went to the extent of suggesting her parents that she should pursue some conventional course in the field of fine arts from a local university ( There’s nothing wrong with that option but trust me, my best friend, Neha wanted to study engineering very badly). Some even claimed that making her study won’t bear any fruits as she won’t be able to accomplish anything thereafter.
Inspite of all this, her parents showed faith in her that she would be able to survive the next 4 years all on her own, which she eventually did. But, the journey had been really tough for her- From climbing stairs to walking long distances on just one leg, she did everything. She attended all the classes, had been an active member of almost all the clubs in our Institute and hey!!! did I tell you….SHE IS AN AWESOME DANCER.
People go crazy when they watch her dance and trust me, watching her dance will give you the most emotional experience of your life. You’ll have tears ready to trickle down your cheeks and it’s not because she dances despite her handicap. It’s because she’s so full of life, more than any of us. She enjoys her dance like no one else.
She has even represented our country and our institute at the international level when she along with her team, Top Guns (the aero-design team of our institute), designed and fabricated an Advanced class radio-controlled aircraft for SAE Aero Design East 2013 held at Fortworth, Texas, USA. This competition was organised by NASA and Lockheed Martin. Although the team couldn’t win the award, they won many hearts as their aircraft completed all flight rounds successfully :)
She still faces infinite number of challenges in her daily life, which get worsened as our country’s infrastructure isn’t PH-friendly (physically handicapped).
She has a small little dream of opening a dance school for the differently abled kids one day. Trust me, SHE WILL.
She is the biggest source of inspiration for me and a lot of other people. I remember how a Flipkart delivery guy broke into tears when he met her in our hostel because he had read about her and her dance in the newspaper and couldn’t believe that he was meeting her in person.
But not everyone she meets is so cooperative. There are people who try to take advantage of her situation..e.g..the auto drivers suddenly start demanding double the fare knowing that she has no other option than to take the auto.
And eve teasers….BEWARE….NEHA AWASTHY IS HERE….It doesn’t matter where we are. If any guy passes any ‘uncalled for’ or lewd remarks…she doesn’t let him go without shouting at him, which attracts a lot of public attention and the guy has to leave after losing the battle with her :D
Thanks so much everyone for liking my answer…And a big thanks on behalf of Neha…:D You all have made her immensely happy…and yes on a little fun note…here is another pic for all of you…Im the one giving ‘scared’ expressions sitting in middle…And you all already recognise Neha…and the one sitting behind me is our friend and our partner in crime Rashmi..:)
Post by Cyndi Perlman Fink:
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Answer by Leonard Kim:
We live our lives, setting goals, which lead to expectations of ourselves. We expect others to stay our friends forever and to help us in our times of need. We even expect to arrive at a certain destination if we live our home at a specific time.
Yet, when we live in this world, nothing ever goes as planned.
We can miss some outrageous goal we set for ourselves, such as selling 25 cars a month when the average is 8. We can fall short by two vehicles and become completely devastated.
Because we set ourselves up with an expectation, yet failed to meet it.
We can expect our friends to listen to us when we are sad. Sometimes, they won’t be able to drop everything and get around to it. Then we feel ignored and unloved.
Because we set ourselves to expect more of our friends, even though they have their own lives.
We can even expect to make it to work in an hour if we leave at a specific time. If there is an accident along the way, then we become panicked because we’ll end up becoming late.
Because we expect the world to go according to our plans.
All of these expectations just lead to disappointment down the line. It is impossible for us to hit all our own goals. It is impossible for our friends to always be there for us. It is impossible to even get to a destination on time, all the time.
The best way to deal with disappointment is to avoid it altogether. To do that, we need to eliminate our expectations.
Without expectations, there is no disappointment.
For me personally, this was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn. I always put huge expectations upon myself, like wanting to get rich, to outperform everyone, to be wildly successful, yet I always fell short. Then I would go home and cry in bed for months, because I missed my mark.
Instead, what I found to work for me was that I needed to adopt a philosophy of consistent and never ending improvement. I needed to work on myself, not what the world expects of me. I needed to forget about comparing myself to others and how well they are doing. I eliminated the concept of Darwinism, or survival of the fittest. I just focused on bettering myself, in all aspects of my own life.
In turn, my life flipped right side up. Then everything just started to go right for me.
Your position in the world isn’t to compete with others. It’s to become the best human being that you can become.
Answer by Xu Beixi:
See your zygomatic bone?
Feel your way to its highest point (at the front of your face).
Below it, there should be a small depression.
Press on it. Harder, if possible.
This will keep you awake.
Caveat: it may make you feel like you’ve been punched in the face.
Answer by Jane Chin:
Kids are smart and know that adults care so much about what other adults think of them, that the same adult will behave very differently when other adults are around.
Kids will immediately test their theory and once their theory proves correct, they will leverage to their advantage.
This is why we adults must behave consistently with our kids, whether we are with other adults or alone with our kids.
You may want to try a more complete “priming” approach, than what you’ve thus far tried.
A complete primer is something like this:
"We are going to Mr. Smith’s house.
The rules are, when we are in someone’s home, we use our indoor voice (or however you want to describe using the appropriate voice volume), and we play nicely with other kids.
If you begin to shout, or if you begin to fight with other kids, I will remind you once. I know when we get excited we may forget.
If I see that you cannot understand my reminder, then we will leave immediately.”
In the above primer, you are giving very clear and unambiguous instructions on HOW to behave and the # of reminders he gets before the consequence occurs. You would tailor the priming the way you’d speak with your child, but please include all elements of what the rules are, how many reminders he receives of the rules, and what to expect if he continues to ignore you.
In addition, please note how I describe the desired behaviors (what you want him to do) — NOT what you DON’T want him to do (i.e. “don’t shout”).
- "Please speak using inside voice" versus "Please don’t shout"
- "Please take turns with toys" versus "Please don’t fight"
The most difficult aspect, and the part that will make or break your effectiveness, is your ability to actually follow through.
You may need to warn your host ahead of time, so they don’t think you rude if you need to abruptly leave.
After a couple of times, your child will see that the old leverage no longer works. Over time, you would no longer need to prime. You only need to give a warning and the kid will remember the rules. At this time we need only give our kid “the eye” and he will know the sequence of events.
P.S. Priming can be used to teach other desirable behaviors; for example, we use this method to teach our kid (who just turned 6) how to sit through a 45-90 minute meal at a restaurant without ever needing an iphone or an ipad to survive. We do allow distractions like a book he can read, or playdough, but only after he’s finished his meal.
Answer by Jane Chin:
Unfortunately, “looking at eyes” is one of the hallmarks of “good interpersonal skills” in Western society. This means if you want to get a job in a Western society, you will have to figure out a hack to “appear to look at eyes”.
This is what I’ve figured out, I hope this can help:
1. Visual Target Position — I like to look at the space between the eyes, around the “third eye” position.
I don’t have trouble looking at people in the eye (I do not have Aspergers, but am an who has had thousands of hours of practicing social skills, having to survive society :-), but I get confused “which eye” to look at. I tend to look like I am staring at one eye then staring at the other eye. Once I trained myself to look between a person’s eyes, I was able to get by appearing as if I am looking at people in the eye.
2. Visual Target Duration — Train yourself to look at/between the eyes for 2-3 seconds.
Time yourself and increase your comfort level until you are able to “hold the gaze” for at least 2 to 3 seconds. This is really the extent that most people will accept as “look in the eye”. Beyond that, it may look like you are staring at people, which isn’t helpful for making the other person feel comfortable.
At this time, may I add an interpersonal skills concept:
The reason behind eye contact has to do with making the other person feel comfortable and connected with you in this particular social ritual called “interviewing for a job.” Therefore, when the interviewer does not receive eye contact, the interviewer feels disconnected and even “insulted”, because the unwritten rule of this social ritual says that “when a person refuses to look at you, that person is pretending you do not exist and you are unimportant.”
This interpersonal skills concept is meant to help you realize that your eye contact has power in this social ritual. Thus even when you are uncomfortable engaging this power, it needs to be engaged. If you go to another society where direct eye contact is considered confrontational, then you will learn that society’s social ritual rule.
3. Visual Target “Rule” Re-calibration — You can set the “2-3 second eye contact-then-look-away” rule during the interview such that the interviewer learns to associate your looking away with a positive intention.
For example, tell the interviewer, “I want to let you know that I am paying very close attention to everything you are telling me, so if I look away for a few moments, this is because I am listening very intensely.”
In the above example, you are re-calibrating the interviewer’s interpretation of why you are looking away, and re-associate this with something positive — not negative. You are looking away because you are intensely concentrating on everything you are hearing. Not because you are ignoring the other person.
The pattern may look like this:
Engage eye contact 2-3 seconds.
Break away eye contact (look maybe above the shoulder around the ear area) 3-5 seconds.
Re-engage eye contact 2-3 seconds.
Break away eye contact 3-5 seconds.
Engage eye contact: At this point introduce visual target rule re-calibration.
Break away eye contact as you listen to response.
Talking About Yourself (Code name, “Small Talk”)
Interviewers want you to talk about yourself because they are trying to find something in common with you, or to have something that makes you memorable in their minds.
- Talk about one thing you’ve done to help someone, that you feel happy about.
- Talk about one thing you like to do (for example, some people love to eat and consider themselves foodies, then they will say, “I love food — I am a foodie! I seek out the holes in the wall restaurants that serve authentic ethnic dishes.”)
- Talk about a cause that you care about, and how you have come to care about it. Not why you care, but how you have come to care about it.
Note these ideas focus on tightly-bounded talking points. Because:
- You must ensure that you spend no more than ONE MINUTE answering this question. If you need to inhale more than twice talking about yourself, you have talked too long.
The pattern may look like this:
"So, tell me about yourself."
You: answer the question in 1 minute.
Pinging back and forth
If they make a comment, you ask a question.
If they ask a question, you answer the question (30 seconds or less).
If they make a comment, you make a comment.
If they make a comment, you ask a question.
If they make a comment, you make a comment.
(see the pinging pattern? This becomes “small talk”)
They will usually proceed to the next phase of the interview or ask another interview question.
Finally, end all interviews by thanking them for their time then asking them what is the next step, and the time frame.
Something like this: “I enjoyed this interview and appreciate the opportunity. I am sincerely interested in this job. What will be our next step, and when may I expect to hear from you about the status of my application?”
Good luck :D
P.S. I’d appreciate lots of comments and feedback on my answer from people who read this (including OP), since I wonder whether this level of detail is useful or too much detail.